"Hello! Welcome to Burger King, howmayIhelpyou?"
"I'd like it My Way, right away, please."
"Yes sir! Please drive through."
"Alright, I will."
Seconds later…
"That'll be 13.92."
"Here."
"Thank you, please drive to the next window."
"No prob Bob."
"My name is Mary, sir."
"It really doesn't matter, does it?"
"To me it does."
"Yes, yes, I'd imagine it would. I'm gonna go now."
"Have a good one, Alice."
At another window…
"Hello sir, here's My Way, delivered right away as ordered."
"Yeah, you do good work there, Paco."
"My name ain't Paco, mahn. Es Jose."
"That's fine. Peace, I'm out."
I drove out of the parking lot, shaking my head. What a world we live in where The Customer is never right and people can get My Way at an old fast food chain. I put on my Left Blinker and made a right, cutting across Three Lanes of Traffic. I think some cars crashed behind me, so I widened my eyes and said, "Oops."
Everything worked out by the time I got to the office. Ambling into the board room I was greeted with the odd "Sir!" and "Good morning, sir!" and "Hello, sir!". People stood up and others ate Bagels. I sat at the head of The Table and awaited the conduct of business.
Without warning, and very suddenly, and with very little chance to prepare myself, business commenced. A Man gave a presentation about a Line, a Bar and a Pie. A Woman talked at length about Fiscal Briscal, or some such. I scratched My Crotch and stood up.
Everyone stopped arguing and eating and some even stopped breathing, awaiting my instructions. I never tired of that trick. I sat down, looking bleak. Everyone seemed concerned. Slowly, I took out the My Way and unwrapped it.
There was not a single person in the room who was not impressed. Short Man, Fat Man, Tall Man, Black Man, Black Woman… one even turned green at the thought of the Bagel Blue on the Napkin Purple. But they were all impressed.
After about a minute of awe, I wrapped it up and said, "Once this business is conducted to the success I demand, I will take you all to Burger King."
The Room was abound with satisfied smiles and nods. A secretary who passed by the open door swooned and had to be revived by a Stout Man with Smelling Salts. The abundance of Good Vibrations pervaded the area as word spread.
Spinning my chair 180 degrees, I stared through the floor to ceiling windows at the smoldering city beyond. 'How could we have fallen this far?' I wondered. Business furiously took its own course behind me.
Ten minutes later we had a deal and I signed three papers. The others signed three papers. We shook Hands and opened a Bottle, for which Everyone was glad. We emptied the Bottle, closed it, and People were glad still.
Then, our return to the Burger King…
. . .
"Hello, minions of the Burger King!", I declared as we entered the premises. My co-workers were unduly impressed yet again. The shining yellow-gold of the King's seal was blinding. The menu consisted of one item. Rumors that once this menu had contained countless Items To Buy were common in America. I doubted this seriously. For as long as it could be remembered, people recalled only My Way.