Gu

Gu sat down by the pond to feed the pigeons. Hastily ascertaining that he had nothing to feed them with, he decided to head back to the manor, the vision of a particular loaf of rye he bought earlier situated before his mind’s eye.

Unfortunately Gu traveled in the wrong direction. How that could have been is difficult to reason; it was his house and these were his grounds. He should not have been so easily lost.

Walking past the anticipated site of his richly decorated home he shortly found himself on the runway of a busy airport.

“It is odd”, Gu rationalized, “that I am here.”

He did not consider his predicament intently enough to avoid ducking under the wing of a rather large jet plane rolling past him. It was inopportune that Gu was so tall – a shorter man need not have crouched, and would not have had his thoughts side-tracked from the queerness of his situation.

Gu, brushing himself off, instead took off at a steady gait to the terminal buildings. He was too old to run, really, and besides, he further considered, there was no more pressing an activity to attend to than walking across an airfield.

Reaching the terminal was rather easy – the stairs were even closer than the had first appeared to be. This was fortuitous as Gu, an elderly gentleman, had become quite tired from his walk to find bread to feed the birds by the lake.

Too tired to go on for now it seemed appropriate to set down to rest in one of the chairs (in what suddenly seemed an over-cramped terminal).

Gu arose from his nap refreshed. Finding only one exit from the building which everyone seemed to be using just now, he took it. He passed a uniformed woman who mumbled some polite greeting.

Gu, refreshed as he was, remembered why he had originally stumbled upon the airfield to which he now returned: he had strode off his estate in completely the wrong direction! Realizing the waning sunlight and the need to rectify his error, he set off across the runways to his home.

Too much time later an exhausted Gu found his chateau. He stumbled in the door and found a nude woman before him. She screamed, and in his fatigue he could not figure out why. He gestured about in a way he hoped contained meaning, for speech would not issue around his ragged breaths. As he lurched towards her she menaced him with the base of a nearby lamp.

Gu, along with his breath regaining some of his character wisdom, fathomed that there was a strange nude woman in his own home, threatening him with harm!

He moved forward abruptly, falling forward in the process. Again the woman screamed, but this time additionally brought the lamp to bear on the base of Gu’s skull.

As it does not take much to kill an enfeebled old man, the woman’s husband, who was in the shower for all of this, interred Gu’s remains in the hillside of this German manor.

“The police ask too many questions. This way is simpler”, the man assured his wife the next day, “One less perverted old man will make no difference tomorrow.”